I’m not quite sure how I feel about my impending op…. I keep having massive lows where I just want to sit and cry for hours to feeling bloody lucky that it hasn’t spread…. it’s exhausting and I do feel that they joy has been sucked out of me and I have become a bore about it…..
I have invested in a couple of eye patches to start to train my ‘good eye’ in what it will be like and quite frankly it is utterly shit. My vision is blurry, it takes a while to focus if I move my head quickly and I have a strange funky, fuzzy rainbow thing going on in my ‘bad’ eye which is really distracting. My depth deception is dire and I have nearly knocked over my G&T on an evening several times (tragic) I’m not sure it is helping me or making me panic and feel helpless. It doesn’t help that Mr me-myself-and-eye tried on the patch and claimed that he didn’t see the problem with it and he could see easier with it… ffs….
My enoculation (I’m learning all the lingo) has been booked for the 20th March and I’m desperately trying to get everything done work wise before then. Trying to pass everything I can to my incredible Mermaid team (Khara and Colleen- big up to you both!) I’m also trying to get in as much running as possible! I entered a random 5km race in York last night (14th March) in the hope of ducking under 20 minutes. It wasn’t my night though and I stumbled around in 20.40. – Big shout out to my Valley Strider team mates who not only drove me but ran like the wind…. in the wind…!
So today (Friday) is all about making sure all work stuff is sorted and the house is tidied (in my strange mind, I want it all sorted in case I don’t wake up from the op) and then trying to stay strong for the hubby as he has to deal with his mum being poorly (it never rains and all that….)