This is me.

Four weeks on from my operation and the reality is that this is who I am now. What I  feel about life will never be the same again.

I am absolutely comfortable with my body and all of its scars and perfect imperfections of life. It’s taken me years to feel this way but I am thankful for my body and the journey that it has gone on for me, the battle scars that it has and what it will continue to do for me. The resilience of my body astounds me and I am PROUD.

My journey now is not really about what I look like but how I feel and learn to cope with a different way of life, how I grieve, laugh, change my day to day and what I do to help others. I guess this is why I’m sharing this picture of what my reality is…. rather than having it hidden behind a patch all of the time.

These lyrics from one of my very favourite songs, ‘Grow’ by Frances are comforting and uplifting, and I have found solace in listening to them. If you can find it, give it a listen:

“Don’t put your eyes down
You’re not to blame
I know there are stories
You can’t explain
But if I should find you black and blue
And aching from crying, I’ll wait with you

Grow, grow
Oh, so you know it all
Then it’s gone
Grow, grow
You know I’m here holding on
Tying up your loose ends
And your drifting esteem
Grow, grow
If you never try, you’ll never know

I’ve left you a white page by the door
There’s no need to ask me what it’s for
I wait by the front step for your return
And hear every story of what you’ve learned

Grow, grow
Oh, so you know it all
Then it’s gone
Grow, grow
You know I’m here holding on
Tying up your loose ends
And your drifting esteem
Grow, grow
If you never try, you’ll never know”

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/grow-ep/998623845

From all of my perfect imperfections,

CC x

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